dreams are a crazy thing…

sometimes what happens with me is i have a dream about some guy – either someone i know or someone who is famous – and because of this dream that i have its as if it opens my eyes to the posibility of ACTUALLY liking this person…like having a crush…

my dreams are pretty odd sometimes…including the dream that made me in love with David Duchovny…he and his wife shared a bed with me??? odd i know

so anyways one sleepless night last week i finally fell alseep to a dream about Dr. Phil…dont ask…

he was in my room – thats where our therapy sessions took place – and i kept complimenting him on how great a man and father he was…i guess he read into it too much…so once our session is done he writes up a progress report and pins it to the wall over my bed…so i climb up on the bed and start to read it…

i am on my knees reading when i feel him come up onto the bed right behind me – yet i dont freak out or start to become uncomfortable – then i feel him come up right against me and put his hand on my waist – still not freaking out – then he pushes my hair out of the way and kisses my neck – most of you are cringing right now b/c its dr. phil…and so am i thinking about it…but i wasnt in my dream – next thing you know we are making out…

haha oh dear god

just as i am about un-button his shirt (insert barfing emoticon here) some kid runs in and his mother following…we come up with some excuss that gets us off the hook and he leaves…yatta yatta yatta he tells his wife and she freaks out but forgives him but suggests not being my theripist any more…and he doesnt listen…

needless to say he didnt listen and the next week he was back at my house as my therapist…only this time it took place in the bathroom – i have no idea why – and i was just getting out of the shower so i only had a towel on…and this time i thought i would just try and seduce him for fun to see if i could get him in trouble again…but i woke up…damnit!

so because of this RIDICULOUS dream…as i was telling you about before…it opened my eyes to dr. phil and i kinda had a crush on him…that is until i went onto his site and saw his picture…then it was back to reality!

MUSIC -Gary Wright- Dream Weaver

life is all about taking chances and doing things that scare you…

the comments i received on the last post are appreciated and we some what expected. when i took those pictures i was merely going to take a bath and thought that i could intern get some creative photography from it. it was not meant to be sexy or provocative, although i guess its hard not to read that in these pictures. these pictures also have nothing to do with krista and her situation – i took them before it all arose – but i guess if in some way she and you feel that it supports her then i am glad…

one comment though, in which i was expecting, wasn’t left in the comment section but rather in a message to me over msn. my cousin was concerned by them, and i knew she would be. she was paranoid that they would attract creeps and weirdo who would stalk me and do bad things. i completely understand her concern and greatly appreciate it, and maybe i am naive but i am an open individual and feel free to express myself or ‘tell my story’. if you ever catch me on msn you know that you can ask me anything and i will answer…

i am fortunate not to have a boyfriend or someone who can stand in my way of self expression. it is through growing and learning about yourself that one can feel comfortable and confidant in ones body…

the only thing i was afraid of was of someone from my family seeing this. i have a somewhat conservative family both immediate and extended and i know that in seeing this they wouldn’t understand. i am not out to ‘get guys’ or be stupid and ridiculous on the internet. i am here to express myself in whatever form i feel is fit. i am not about to post nude pictures of myself. i have no problem what so ever if other people do it but for me its not my thing. and NO matt…im not doing soft core porn you goof!

i am very thankful for the opportunity that i get to be me on here. sometimes in person i feel so restricted and so self concise of who i am, but on here i feel unstoppable. i am thankful for the people i have met and get a chance to talk to. some people get so concerned when you tell them you have friends which you have never met but talk to online, and i just dont get it. i take caution and take everything in good humor and understanding. i am not about to move across the country for some guy i met online or anything of that nature.

lastly i am thankful to all of you who take the time to visit and comment…and to all of those who actually read this whole long thing of me blabbing…i appreciate each and every comment that is left, in a weird way it makes me feel appreciated…which is all i really wanted.

MUSIC - Wilco – Pot Kettle Black

MUSIC – Guns N’ Roses – Sweet Child O Mine

just a little house keeping…

i have been invited to be a ‘team member’ on a new blog project…blog poems which was started by ryan…click here to read them…if you would like to join our blog project or have your own poems published then you can email ryan – eclectic_koolaid@hotmail.com

in reading tony pierces blog the other day i noticed that he had linked me…which i quite exciting since everyone knows tony and his bus blog…2 in 1 week…first raymi and now tony…its my lucky blogging week

i have also set up a shop…selling projects with shoes on them as well of pictures of myelf…i thought it was pretty snazzy…so buy lots i tell you…there is also a link on my side bar too…

in other news…

i woke up this morning really ichy, my head, arms, legs…i look down and notice that i have hives!