so i know this guy named ian…hes 16…i worked with him in the summer…he is crazy…he is gangsta…he is white…he is one of the coolest people i have ever met…basically because he shares my passion of being gangsta and white and the same time…when we use to pick orders at work we would take our ipods and sync them so we would be listening to the same songs at the same time…thats just how cool we were…our favorite song was Boyz n the Hood by Dynamite Hack…we also started a club called the SSS…its like the KKK but we dont take your baby away…actually its nothing like the KKK…these are some pictures he sent me…he did them all himself…HES SO COOL…

i went to help my aunt decorate her christmas tree this morning…she use to live with my nonno and nonna on their farm but when they died she moved into a little place of her own…this is the first year since shes moved in there that shes put up a christmas tree…i offered to help her so she wouldn’t have to do it herself…

while decorating i unwrapped all the old ornaments that i use to see on the farms christmas tree year after year…decorations that had been made by the grandkids…decorations that they bought when they first came to canada in the 50s…it all brought back memories for me…

the farm was my most favorite place in the world and the hardest thing was to see them sell it…ive never been back since my grandparents died but it was nice to see all their old things today…my aunt promised that one day she’ll give me all the ornaments so that i can have a little piece of the farm on my tree…YAY

haha look at the fruitness which is our family christmas photo…so hot…at least i am wearing the GREATEST toque ever…i should actually dedicate a post to that toque…

did i not JUST post…i know…i know

but im in bed and my brain wont shut off…it keeps thinking and thinking and going over things and making me worry about stuff i really dont want/have to worry about…its driving me crazy…

i feel out of sorts tonight and im not really sure why…just feel lost with out a direction…i did a total of nothing tonight and every time i tried to find something to amuse myself i just became bored…i cant rest…i feel uneasy…its all rather bizzare…

but ive come to several realizations about myself tonight…one which stands out most is that i find myself not asking questions because i am scared of the answer…id rather just sit in ignorance but have everything be ok…i can see myself 10 years from now being that person who turns the other way pretending that everythings ok when really its not but shes just to scared to do anything about it…sometimes i worry that the answers that come out will be to hard to deal with or something that i dont want to hear…and thats pretty pointless to worry about since i have no idea what the answers would be…i never asked questions the last time…i never fought for what i wanted…i just always smiled and nodded and hoped that eventually things would change…but in the end thats what made me mad the most was how i had let myself down…how i didnt do it the way i wanted it…how i didnt stand up for myself…

maybe its a build up of having asked so many questions before and gotten so many bad answers back…i think im just doubting my own strength really…so many things have been thrown at me over the years and i havent broken yet so why would i now…or any time soon for that matter…

i dont know where any of this came from…or what it has to do with anything but its just been going through my head all night long…so out of the blue and so random…but then thats my brain for you…

psst…there is a gathering at the mountain shadow this friday night…think of it as a christmas eves, eves, eve party…with beer…so you better be there…even tho its kinda short notice…it doesnt matter…come anyways…i think someones going to dress up in a santa suit or something…should be interesting to say the least…

oh look! its mr. darcy is he not the dreamiest ever???

it is important to remember that in a whirl wind of obsessions there must always be a few constants…otherwise i would be the most retarded person ever…and even though it is arguable that i am, i beg to differ…

so through my wild admiration for famous men here and there, there will always be a handful to whom my heart will forever be attached…those in person and on screen…those who go on trips and bring you back pebbles and LV catalogs…those who spit water in your face when you’re having a nice moment…those who insist on making fun of you every chance they get…and those who jump into lakes at the back of their estate only to emerge and be seen by the one they secretly love and become completely embarrassed…

how beautiful they all are…

which then brings me to one of my most favorite conversations ever in a movie…

i have a headache from all the nail polish on my toes…not matter how hard i try i always end up covering half my toes when i paint them nails…it never fails…

which reminds me…that i need to buy new underwear…all the pairs i have are either not cute or falling apart…and it doesnt help when a string from the elastic is sticking out of my pants and people decide to pull it until it becomes a huge ball of elastic and thread in their hands…

which reminds me…i had a dream last night that i had a huge crush on jan bulis and i won this chance to go hang out with the canucks and i got to pick a canuck as my pal for the day or something so i got so excited and i yelled ‘I WANT CUE BALL BULIS’ in front of everyone…i thought he was so dreamy…tho in reality his head is really too big for his body but that scar on his lip is soooo sexy…i dont know why…so we hung out and i tried to woo him with my girlish charm…but then apparently i had a boyfriend and he was there too and he got all jealous so i had to leave jan and go find him…damn boyfriends getting in the way of true big headed scared lip hockey love!!!

so the hockey game was on…and we were all watching it…and then the Jon Lovitz Subway commercial comes on and i get all excited and some ASS SOMBRERO grabs the remote while laughing evily so i attack him and the bastard mutes it JUST as my favorite part comes on…so mad…thats the look i gave him…but more evil…last night there was a hella wind storm and a half…i woke at up 3 cause there was all this noise and my parents were running up and down the stairs cause stuff was falling off the house and making noise and it was quite bizzare…the city is pretty much a disaster today and tons of people are with out power…but im not cause im just that cool…im going to see patz new place today and give him his Christmas/Hanukkah/House Warming presents and we are going to go to the gigantic liquor store to buy sctoch…for my dad…because apparently you cant buy his favorite scotch at a regular liquor store…its just the special…the knower of all things scotch is convinced that i wont be able to find it but i am here to prove him wrong…
i have this hankering to sit and watch all the rockys one after the other all day long…excpet i dont own any of them…i think im going to wait until number 6 is out on dvd and hopefully they will come out with some tacky box set and then im going to buy it and watch rocky get worse and worse through the collection…its going to be amazing…but only cause hes so typically italian…

Reporter: Where did you get the name, “The Italian Stallion”?
Rocky: Oh I made that up one night while I was eating dinner.

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