so remember on Sunday how i had to work and it was freezing cold and i thought i was going to die and be hypothermic and i told chad to prepare for my coming by gathering a million blankets and warm things…well this is the story of what actually occurred that fateful night….

so i walk into the apartment with bags galore and there is this haze everywhere…but for some reason i was so out of it that i just didnt clue in to what the hell was happening…and chad comes up to the door all excited and im still clueless so i ask…what the hell smells like its burning???

and chad with his childish grin pulls me around the corner and and shows me the fire place…

OHHH first fire of the season!!! fires in both camp form and place form are our favorite things in the world so we were both pretty excited…
this is…until i started to notice that the majority of the air in the room was in fact NOT oxygen but rather carbon dioxied…HUMMMM maybe you should check that out chad…

but as mr. in control of things usually is he said it was fine and that every ‘first fire of the season’ smokes a little bit more and yadda yadda yadda…needless to say i was a little skeptic…so he decided to open the sliding door to let out some of the gross air…which was a good idea except for the fact that all the ice cold air came in taking away the purpose of the warm fire…

so we went on with our night and had pasta and wine and a cute dinner by the fire…until our eyes started to burn and i started to cough and we realized that the smoke was just getting out of hand…so we retreated to the one room away from the fire and blew all the smoke out of it with the window open and the fan blowing…it was so cold and the air was soooo gross i could barely breath…

once the pollutants were all out of there chad went to check the living room…he decided maybe it would be a good idea to put the fire out so he beat it with a stick…yea…that just caused MORE SMOKE…i went out there for a brief moment to see what was occurring only to be met by a giant cloud of black smoke that chocked the life out of me and i had to run away and hide…

so he took the fan and put it in the living room and opened the sliding door…then he turned on the fan in the kitchen…and the eating area…and the bathroom…all to suck the hell out of the smoky air…then he came back and sat down next to me but i had to push him away because the amount of grossness that had seeped into his clothing made him smell atrocious…

i ended up going home cause there was no way i could be there and breath in death every second for the rest of the night…chad went and checked the fire place just before i left cause the fire was out and he wanted to get to the bottom of this…he made the discovery that he hadn’t quite opened the flute all the way so only half of the smoke was actually escaping through the chimney….ORLY…isnt that just interesting…

when i went back the next day everything smelled like old man smoking pipe…gross tastic…i had to fabreeze the shit out of everything…almost a week later and it still smells gross in there….

…

i swear…he was trying to suffocate me…STOP WATCHING THE SOPRANOS AND GETTING IDEAS!!!

…

the chimney guy is coming on tuesday…hes banned until then….

so thanks to the fact that the thermostat has been broken for over 2 weeks in this office and we have had to freeze our asses off every day (yet surprisingly it feels warmer today) i now have a chest cold and a gigantic cold sore under my nose (which im sure the stress from that past two weeks has added to that)…thats what you get from having to wear scarves and mittens while you work…yes thats how bad it was…and you know me and my lack of winter fat to keep me warm just meant i suffered that much more…

i feel so gross and sick only to find out i dont get sick days for another 6 months so if i dont come in i dont get paid…plus there is so much work on my plate right now that i cant even afford to miss a day…

im so pissed…

:(