So since I talk so much about food and things I make it only makes sense to add a little section on my blog entitled ‘From the Ciavarro Kitchen‘.

Lots of people have asked for the recipes of the things I make so I have added a category where I will write out my favorite and any requested recipes. Right now I only have one but I will add more in the weeks to come.

I also have to get Chad to display my categories on my archives page so that it is easier to navigate, but for right now you can check out the post below or hit the tag ‘Recipes’.

If you have any that you would like posted let me know and I will get them up and running!

Hahaha…it looks a bit funny but it TASTES amazing!

5 slices of bacon (I always add WAY more)
1 medium red onion – diced (I usually only add half an onion)
3 cloves of garlic – minced
1/2 cup of milk
8 ounces of cream cheese
10 ounce package of frozen chopped spinach
8 ounce can of water chestnuts – chopped (I usually don’t add this)
3 dashes hot sauce
1 cup grated Parmaesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste

serve on baguette slices or crackers

…

Preheat over to 425 degrees Fahrenheit

Heat a medium sauce pan over medium heat. Add bacon and cook until crispy. Remove the majority of the fat, let bacon cool slightly and chop up. This step can be done ahead of time so all you would have to do is add the pre cooked pre chopped bacon to the pot to warm up. Still at medium heat add the garlic and onion cooking until brown – 5 to 8 minutes.

In the same pot add the milk to the cooked onions and warm at medium heat. Whisk in cream cheese until melted. Add thawed and drained spinach, water chestnuts, hot sauce, and 1/4 cup of the Parmesan cheese – stir to combine. Season with salt and pepper and make sure all the cheese is melted and everything is combined well. At this point you can taste it to see of its missing anything. Maybe some more hot sauce or a pinch of paprika if you want it more spicy.

Pour the mixture into a 1 1/2 quart  shallow baking dish that is lightly greased. Sprinkle the remaining cheese on top and bake in the oven for 20 – 25 minutes, until bubbly and golden brown.

You can make this recipes one day ahead of time just making sure its covered and kept in the fridge. If you do this just add another 5 minutes to the baking time.

Tips from the Chef…

At the stage in which you add the bulk of the ingredients feel free to try something new. Sometimes I add a bunch of spices to taste like Garlic Plus, or Italiano. Club House has some great One Step Spice Blends. Or if you don’t like spinach try adding a bunch of chopped red peppers. If you love cheese try doing half cream cheese half goat cheese for a different flavor. The possibilities really are endless.

Another option would be to bake the dip in a hollowed out loaf of sourdough bread, using the insides to scoop out the dip. I have yet to try  this but it sounds super delish!

Hope you guys enjoy!

I got 5 hours of sleep last night which is a bit nuts. So you can guess just how tired I am this morning. I figured I was safe though, because I threw on a hoodie and hopped to work knowing that Alicia and I would be the only ones in the office today. Alas, we just got a call from the Boss saying she was coming by this afternoon. Damn.

I brought leftovers from last night for Alicia and I to hork on today. 7 layer dip and Marlee’s amazing Cheesecake Brownies. Sweet Jesus its the only thing getting me through this day.

There was so much food last night…

• Potato Skins – Me
• Bacon Spinach Dip – Me
• Fresh Salsa – Marlee
• Cheesecake Brownies – Marlee
• Apple Strudel Baked Goodness – Elise
• 7 Layer Dip – Francesca

Needless to say we stuffed ourselves silly. I guess its also a bonus when your Husband tells you that the Potato Skins you made were perfect. Too bad they take about a million hours of your time making them from scratch. I have sooo many dishes to clean up tonight. The dishwasher only fit so much.

The boys all piled around the TV to watch Hockey and the girls piled around the table to talk all things girly. Chad called it the Hen Coop. It was true. We asked Francesca 101 questions about pregnancies and giving birth because she is working in the Maternity Ward right now. It was a very informative session. It was also great having Ophelia come over. She only lives 5 blocks away but we never see each other. How crazy we are.

Tonight we’ve got dinner at my Nonnas and I am sure she is going to comment now how I look like crap and ask if I am feeling well these day in which I will have to lie and respond that I am fine I just woke up late so that she doesn’t worry more then she normally does.

Oh sweet sweet 7 layer dip. How I love thee.

- – -

I’m not going to lie. This song is my current obsession.

I’m beat. All of a sudden. And its 11am.

As predicted, I am back to my normal self. I’ve gotten over the shock of Tuesday, and the anxiety of continuing to tell everyone on Wednesday and have settled back into my old self.

I don’t know if I am just living in denial or what. At the same time its hard living in denial when the truth is staring you right in the face. I guess what I feel is that I am not going to sit here and worry about it because that will do nothing, and when the next surgery date comes up and I am sitting in that hospital bed again I will face it then. There is nothing I can do now, and really there’s not even anything I can do then, this is all out of my hand.

But as I’ve said to several people who have asked me how I am doing, I am getting on with it. What good does it to do sit here and be mopy? Does it help? No. Sure there are those times when I will be sitting on the couch watching TV and I will remember my situation and realize how much it sucks but those moments will pass. I can’t stop living my life.

I don’t want people to worry about me and look at me with pity in their eyes. I am fine, the bad stuff is already out. I want life to go back to normal. There is no need to walk on pins and needles around me I am good! Honestly. Lets just sit back and have fun and forget any of this has even happened.

I got a lot of stuff done last night but that’s only because my parents came over and I had to look busy and not procrastinate on the computer every 5 minutes. I should have them come over every time I need to be productive. I had quite a bit to catch up on since Tuesday night was a disaster. That and I always put such stress on myself when people come over that everything in the apartment needs to be exactly perfect, when in reality, I don’t think any of my friends care when they come over to watch a Hockey game whether or not the books on the shelf are in the proper order or if there is a pile of filing on my desk. Tonight I just have to sweep the floors and make some appys and I am home free.

I’ve recieved a lot of emails and comments and messages over the past few days. I appriciate them all <3. I’ve gotten through all my facebook messages and now have to start on my emails. Thankfully I have little to no work to do today. Score!

I went to the specialist yesterday for my follow up appointment. I forgot to mention it because it really wasn’t on my mind at all. I was told by the receptionist that if they found anything negative they would probably call me and move up my appointment instead of making me wait 3 weeks. So I figured no new was good new. WRONG.

Because I had no inclination that anything was going to go wrong I went to the appointment by myself. No Chad, no Mom, just me. I figured he would look at the scar, say everything was good and I would be out of there.

I went into his office. He looked at the scar and said ‘It looks great! Too bad we need to do this again’. I’m sorry WHAT?

At that exact moment I went into shock. I just sat there.

He proceeded to tell me that the test results came back and I have Papillary Thyroid Cancer. I will have to go back in for surgery in May to remove the other half of my Thyroid, then I will have to go on Hormone Replacement pills for the rest of my life. I just about puked.

I just sat there saying “ok…..ok…..sure”. He asked me if I had any questions and I just sat there staring at him. How the hell am I suppose to formulate questions right now when you just told me I have/had Cancer?

I guess the technical aspect of it is that I DID have Cancer. The lumps they removed tested positive for it and the removal of the other side of the Thyroid is a mandatory precautionary method. But that still doesn’t make me feel any better.

He went on about other things but I really have no idea what he said. I couldn’t process it all.

He kept down playing the aspect of Cancer saying that its the best one to have and lots of people have gone through this before, including his secretary. That’s great and all, but he was also the one that said I  had a 5% chance of actually HAVING Cancer.

All I could think about sitting there was that I now had to go home and drop this bomb on Chad. I had to call my parents and tell them. They had to call all the people who had been asking and tell them. It was going to be a disaster. Everyone figured I was fine because I hadn’t heard anything and now this. I couldn’t handle it. I just wanted it to go away.

I acted calm and brave and he asked me if I have a clam personality. “No” I replied. I am Italian. I should be waving my hands and over reacting at this point.

I left his office and sat in the waiting room waiting to fill out the same paper work I did the last time. It must have started to sink in, the news of what was going to happen, because my domineer changed, and they could tell. The secretary tried to re-assure me and the specialist came out to do the same, but it was no help. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Chad kept messaging me to see if everything was ok, but there was no way I could tell him via Txt. My heart was breaking.

I finally got home and told him. He was just as much in shock as I was. I phoned my parents and told them as well. Then the news started to spread amongst the family and everyone started phoning me and I put on my brave voice and they cried to me on the phone. I think everyone is at a loss.

I think it is such a shock to everyone because we really thought that everything was ok and had no indication that there was anything wrong and now it feels like we are back a square one.

I remember saying to Chad a few days after surgery that I better not have to do this again. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and here I am about to face it again. I can’t even believe it.

I just sat there in a mist last night. I had a massive head ache from all the crying and worryingand thinking. The only thing I could stomach to eat of a piece of cheese and pine nuts. How friggin random.

I just don’t want people to make a big deal about this. I don’t want people to have to worry about me. I just want it to be all done and over with so we never have to talk about this again. I don’t want to be a burden.

I don’t really know about how I feel. My head is too complicated to actually assess all the information and come to a conclusion for myself. It will take me a few days to process and then I will be back to normal, ready to fight.

Like Chad kept saying last night, I’ve done this once, I can do it again.