Today everything seems really static-y. Weird.

As I mentioned in my last post, on Friday Claudia and I went down to the Fashion Exchange building to check out some sample sales. It was a last minute trip that I was more then happy to take part in! The Fashion Exchange building (better known as the FX Building) is a place where you can check out over 100 different agencies that each carry different lines. Buyers for clothing companies go down there to check out the new lines each season to buy/order what they are going to carry in their stores. The FX building isn’t the ONLY place buyers can go but it is one of the main ones in Vancouver. Our company goes down there almost on a bi-weekly basis to check out different agents and different lines. I’m not sure if the public can go to the FX building, I mean you can physically get in, but I don’t think you can meet with any of the agents unless you are with a company or have previous contact with them. The one time in which the public is able to go in is when the agents have their sample sales. Not all of them participate but there are a bunch that do.

Anyways, Claudia and I went down to look at one line in particular, one that is too expensive for our store to carry, but they have some great pieces that her and I love. The point of the sale was to pick up anything we wanted personally and to see if there was any interesting new trends that we wanted to pick up on for our stores. The boss met us down there and we started going through all the racks of clothes. Since I was the extra pair of eyes and hands, they got me to try on a bunch of stuff that they were interested in to see how it fit and how it hung on the body. Most of the pieces I tried on were things I would never wear. Big drapy knits with little form, unstructured pieces that floated away from the body, and pieces that I had no idea which was up or down.

While trying everything on the Boss was stunned as to how good I looked it everything. She said to me,

 ”I know you would never wear any of this stuff but it looks SO good on you, you have the perfect body for it. We need to get you out of your Skater Girl look and turn you into a fashionista!”

First I was taken aback by such a compliment, considering I truly never would wear any of the pieces I was trying on, and second I was surprised that the Boss recognized my skater girl look. I don’t really know WHY I was surprised by it considering I basically wear checkered Vans to work every day, but I guess because shes never really said anything to me about my apparel, other then to compliment something, I’ve never really clued in to her noticing me in that way. I really took what she said to heart, in a good way.

I always figured because I had such a tiny body with very little curves, that I would get lost in big flowy things. I really had no idea how to wear them and unless something was skin tight I most likely shied away from it. But with this new insight, and help from two professionals, I spent the rest of the afternoon looking for pieces that reflected the ones I tried on.

While there weren’t many like those that I originally tried on, there were a few I kept an open mind too and were different from pieces I would normally try on. We weren’t told exactly how much the samples cost but we were assured they would be ‘cheap’. I went ‘wild’ and ended up pick out 5 things. Claudia didn’t even get any. I put the pieces I wanted on a rack and then we left.

On the way back to the office I started to panic, realizing that I had just blindly picked out 5 tops with out any thought as to how much they cost and whether or not I REALLY needed them. I was just so excited over the fact that I had the opportunity to buy them and so excited over this new found ‘freedom’ I had for clothing that I went nuts. I started to regret my excitement. I asked Claudia how much she thought the clothes would come to, she suggested $200. $200 for 5 tops! I was nuts. I mean yea, that was probably a good deal for these normally pricey items but I just felt guilty for being so care free about it all.

Yesterday the clothing arrived and I sifted through the box to find my items. This was where I would have to face the total cost of my frivolous purchase. The Boss told me to take the price that was on the tag and cut it in half. In half eh, this is already looking up for me. So what did the total ACTUALLY come to?? A whole $80! 80 bucks! I was more then happy to pay that! There were also 4 other samples I was waiting to purchase from the warehouse so I tallied up the totals of those as well -$50! Sweet Tonad! This is my day!

9 Samples for 130 bucks, and 2 FREE ones on top of that!

So what did I learn from this experience…

1. Try on different clothes that you might not normally buy and if you are unsure ask someone who actually IS a fashionista.
2. Always, ALWAYS go to and purchase many things from Sample Sales!

We are ‘surprising’ him tonight with home made for the Italian kitchen chicken soup and gingerale.

Because thats what good friends do when someone is a sicky poo.

But I swear to God if I get sick from this act of kindness I will pound someones head in.

I don’t know who, but I will.

Please God, see that I am being kind and generous and protect me from Mr. Zaph’s evil sick germs.

Amen.

At the very beginning of my journey with Thyroid Cancer I was asked several times if I was feeling any of the physical effects of having a wonky thyroid, most notably weight gain and fatigue, commonly associated with an under active thyroid. I replied No because really, other then fluctuating between 5 lbs during the course of a day, and my usual laziness, I really wasn’t feeling anything out of the ordinary. I compared myself to my Mom who had suffered from an under active thyroid and did gain weight and experience fatigue on a daily basis before it was all fixed. My ‘sympthoms’ where nothing in comparison to hers so in my head I was not suffering from anything.

As time went on and I learned more about my situation and what was going to happen to me I was told that after the removal of the second half of my Thyroid I would have to go on medication for life because having no Thyroid is much like having one that doesn’t work, one that is under active. I figured that after my second surgery I would begin to feel the effects of Hypothyroidism and then would have to monitor my body until I got the right dose of medicine.

Last night however, I realized I was already starting to feel the effects.

Yesterday was a typical day, nothing out of the ordinary. I got home at a normal time, prepared dinner which was fairly easy, did the dishes, had a shower, and then had to have a nap. I had to have a nap at 8:30 at night. My body was so physically drained JUST from taking a shower that I could no longer stand. My muscles began to ache and I had to lay down on the bed. I was planning to iron some of Chads work shirts that I had washed the day before and the thought of standing to do it was agonizing.

I began to realize that this feeling of extreme fatigue after simply having a shower, or doing the dishes, had been felt before but I never really gave it any thought, I just worked through it and took breaks if I really needed to. Normally my mind takes over the ‘pain’ and I make sure to finish my goals for the evening before sitting in front of the TV. Yesterday, I just could not. I only managed to iron 4 out of the 15 pieces I was planning to do. Even sitting in bed reading made me tired. Waking up this morning I felt much the same.

What made me realize that this was more serious then just an isolated day of being tired was all the other times I could think of that I felt this tired, and had occurred since my first surgery.

Last Friday I accompanied Claudia to the Fashion Exchange building to look through some samples. We were there for about 3 hours, and the work was by no means physically laborious, but when we returned to the office, I sat in front of my computer screen and just stared at it. I could barely lift my arms to do any work. My exhaustion was to the extreme. I never felt like this before. I was so tired I even became physically ill.

There have been countless afternoons where I have had to spend some time in the warehouse organizing things or setting things up, and I come back to my desk and literally have to rest my head on my desk for a few minutes. Things like this should not happen. I mean this weekend is a perfect example, I could barely stay awake Saturday night and then just having to get up early on Sunday screwed up my body for the whole day. I am beginning to see that the way I am feeling is not normal.

Ever since the first surgery simple task require a break or time out once I am done. Yearning to go to sleep at 10pm or earlier is a daily occurrence, and having the energy to finish  several productive things in a day is none existent. Even small things that are more mental then physical, like typing out a blog post, leaves me drained.

I have tried to not let the fatigue get to me and stop me from doing what I know I should be physically and mentally able to do but as time goes on I can feel it getting more difficult.

Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do right now. I will have to wait for my second surgery and then for the medication. I am hoping that everything will be figured out fairly quickly. I am tired of being tired. But I guess at the same time, I’d rather be tired then gain 50 lbs. At least I think I’ve figured out why I feel this way and can now work towards feeling better.

Its 10:30 and I am already thinking about food and what I am going to do for lunch.

We ended up sleeping in on Saturday because the boys didn’t have band practice so there wasn’t as much of a rush to get things done, and you know I totally took advantage of that. We headed over to the mall at 12 to get some new Summer clothes for Chad. He ended up winning a crap load of money from the Hockey Pool at work so we used it on booze and new clothes. We always go to RW & Co. because the clothes fit him and I love all the styles they do. I think 93% of his closet is from RW & Co. He should become their spokes person or something.

We dropped the stuff off at home and then headed to the parentals place so Chad could spend 3 hours washing and cleaning his car. I think it has been literally 6 months since the last time I was in his car. His car is pointless to take anywhere in the winter because it can’t drive through snow, and then we got in the habit of taking my car because it is better on gas, so much so that we were able to cut our gas budget in half just by taking my car on weekend. So with that, its been forever since I’ve gone for a ride in the Ciavarro Mobile.

Mom made me sit there for 3 hours and go through all our wedding pictures. We still don’t have our wedding album yet, but I half blame myself for taking so long to respond to emails, and then with the whole surgery thing I forgot about it. None the less we are three seconds away from finally finalizing it. Its so hard to try and get a bunch of pictures onto 15 pages. I have inevitably missed stuff so I went though all the ones that aren’t going in the album so that my Mom can put them in a separate book. Either way, no matter what album they are in, it should be ok. There is no point being picky about it. Though now that I’m thinking about it I think there is one thing I have to change. Ugh, I will be happy when this is done.

In the PM the crew car pooled down to the Hamilton Street Grill for Andreas birthday. We were the first ones to get there so the boys hit up the bar and Marlee and I settled in. It was a pretty nice place, one of the classier ones the crew has been too but the food was really good and we enjoyed the company. I was on my seafood obsession so I got the mussels. Marlee did too. We actually both had the exact same dinner, down to the sides we added and our drinks. Haha, I joked that if we were given an unlimited amount of money to spend on food we would never stop eating. We would throw the most amazing dinner parties.

By the end of the night my contacts were bugging the crap out of me, worst I’ve ever experienced. Those who were left headed over to the Yale Town Brew Pub. It took us a while to find a table because it was so jam packed busy. I was kind of surprised because it wasn’t what I was expecting. We eventually found a table for us to sit at which was next to this table of cougars trying to pick up men their own age which I guess then doesn’t make them cougars. The one guy who was sitting there then started talking about Pat and I, which I could see out of the corner of my eye because he was pointing at us, I mean full arm extending point and we were sitting RIGHT beside him, three inches right beside him. It was very awkward. I don’t know what he was saying. Unfortunately the contact pain began to couple with the extremely loud music and I got a horrible head ache, so bad that I had to run to the bathroom to rip my contacts out and attempt to wash my eyes to give them some relief. It put me in quite the sour mood which sucked. The DJ played a song we requested which was pretty cool, and I think had I not been in head ache bad mood mode I could have actually had a lot of fun there. But Saturday just wasn’t my night. After one drink we left the birthday girl and friends and headed home with the Perizzolos. I was yearning for quite and sleepy time.

Sunday we had to get up at 8 and I was dying. Not hung over thankfully, but so tired. I realized that my body is so delicate then when I don’t get a full nights rest my body severely pays for it. That doesn’t mean I can’t stay up late, it just means I need to sleep in. And technically I did get 7 hours sleep but it was not nearlyenough. We met Dario & Marlee for church, like the good Italian Catholics that we are, and then headed to Whitespot for breakfast. Thankfully I did the right thing and only ordered what I knew I could eat and not everything on the menu because my stomach was hungry. Waffles with strawberry sauce. Perfection! Though half way through I had to stop and take a break because my stomach was like ‘WTF its 10:30am on a Sunday and you are ACTUALLY feeding me?’. It was a little confused.

After breakfast we headed over to Silvercity to catch the matinee of Earth. Such a good movie, though Chad and I are pretty much in love with any TV show/ Documentary that have to do with nature and wildlife. It was really well put together and you just fall in love with all of the animals you see. Plus they show some amazing footage of different parts of the world going through the seasons. Its a very sweet movie.

The second we got home I  decided to take a nap. Thank God I didn’t bother making the bed. With in 20 minutes Chad joined me and we spent two hours laying in bed watching more documentaries and Myth Busters. Ahh such a perfect lazy Sunday. I love laying down. It is my favorite thing to do. Especially after dinner when I have stuffed myself to the brim, I must always lay down.

Eventually I felt guilty because I didn’t do any cleaning on Saturday and knew that I had to do something so I got up and made dinner, then cleaned the bathroom and did a load of laundry. I figured that fulfilled my domestic obligation for the weekend. The rest of the evening was spent watching Seinfeld DVDs and reading which was pretty damn nice. I think the perfect combination would be to spend a couple hours in the morning being really productive and then lazy the afternoon away, that way I don’t feel guilty for being soooo lazy. Oh Sloth.

I could have definitly slept in more this morning, but getting up wasn’t that difficult. I mean I did fall asleep at 10:30!

The post I planned and half finished isn’t going to get posted. It’s been quite the interesting day and very random last minute. I need to take more pictures of things and I need to stop letting the sun give me a head ache and then upset my stomach. I’m shivering and I don’t think thats a good thing. Maybe I will get back to being a good blogger this weekend. Leaving in 5 minutes, then its time to get my Friday night on with Mr. Ciavarro. Godfather part 3 anyone? Maybe its just an ‘US’ type thing.

Random things I found in Alicias House…

This was in their bathroom.

This morning the power was half on half off at work. My computer was the only one that was working, GO ME!

Today has been one of those days where its sunny out and everyones happy and people are coming in and out of the office and everyone is chatting and its actually been fun. Like a casual day at the office. Its refreshing. I also found out some exciting news that will be taking place in September but I don’t want to spill the beans just yet because I don’t know exactly what the beans include. It does however, involve some traveling with work so I am looking forward to finalizing the details! If it does pan out it will look like I will be adding a new job description to my name!

So much productivity today. I knocked a bunch of different things off my check list and have organized tomorrow nicely. It feels so good to get stuff done and actually have work on my plate. We have been doing an awesome job of spring cleaning in the office and it makes me excited with glee because so much of this stuff is old and falling apart and covered in 3 inches of dust, and even though a lot of the stuff has nothing to do with me, its nice to walk through the warehouse and see everything clean and organized. Alicia new photo room is coming along nicely as well and I can’t wait to get in there and have some fun. Looks like we are going to have a stage to work with too!

Chads magic Benadryl did nothing for me last night which maybe means that I don’t have allergies and am instead a whiney baby who can’t deal with a plugged nose. The breathing part has been better today but I’m not home free just yet.

Dinner at Mamas tonight. YAY!

Ok, thats all the time I have for today.

So this weekend I was sick, or I think I was, or I’m just not sure what the hell is going on. I woke up Saturday morning with a dripping nose. Chad suggested allergies to which I replied “WTH I’m not allergic to things”. I took a clariten anyways. Then I realized they were expired. Probably why they did SFA. Went to my Moms house and she suggested a Sudafed. Popped it. Didn’t help. Went to Alicia’s and blew my nose for 5 hours.

Sunday still stuffed up, more dripping then clogging, now developing a cough. Take different kind of Sudafed. Does nothing. Go to Church and blow nose several times. Come home and feel like death. Attempt to make soup. Make mess of kitchen and feel to sick to clean it up. Head about to explode with sinus pressure and eyes water. Go to Zia Maria’s and watch hockey game with cousins. Survive quite nicely until 8pm when we decided to watch My Cousin Vinny. Blow nose 17 million times during movie.

Monday worst day of my life. Fever, stuffed up nose, inability to breath through nose, cough, congestion, over all feeling of death. Go to work. Die. Work for 4 hours, get the hell out of there. Sneeze so much on the drive home that my eyes water and I can not see a thing. Avoid getting into multi vehicle accident. Arrive home, have bath, put on Pjs, continue to suffer. Figure the head cold medicine is not working and give up on all kinds of healing procedures. Lay in misery for hours.  Inability to breath through nose causes multitude amounts of suffering. Rub Vicks Vaporub all over chest and neck in attempt to relief some sort of congestion. Partially works. Inability to breath through nose continues to drive me through the roof. Attempt to make dinner while needing to take a fever break every 5 minutes. Make dinner but feel too sick to actually eat it. Attempt to clear clogged nose by mindlessly blowing it to the point of raw exposed skin. Attempt relief by numerous applicationsof lotion to nostril area. Finally give up on life and sit in front of the TV breathing through my mouth and sniffing Vicks Vaporub. Go to bed and somehow sleep through the night.

Tuesday wake up and feel 5% better. Try and de clog throat and nose from sleepy time mucus. Sit on edge of bathtub and contemplated life. Get dressed and go to work. Attempt to survive a full 8 hours…

The only thing I can think of at this point in time is that I have a combination of sickness plus allergies. While I have never had allergies to Spring before I guess this year is the year for every. None of the sinus cold medication is making me feel any better and all I can do is sit here with my nose completelyclogged and I can’t blow the crap out or sniff if in, its just fully clogged. My fever is gone and all my achiness, the only thing that is left is the nose. Chads got some different allergy medication at home that’s helped him out a lot this season so I am going to test it out tonight. If it works I am going to kick myself for not trying it earlier. There is definitely something in this air at work that is irritating the crap out of me. AHHHHHHH.

That’s it. I am buying a damn Netty Pot.

Le sigh.