I left work a few minutes early yesterday to run to the store to pick up some veggies. I was thinking about dinner and realized we didn’t have any lettuce. We could not have dinner with out lettuce.

Once I got there I realized there was no point in buying just a head of lettuce and then using a credit card to pay for it. Oh the paroles of never having cash on hand. I didn’t want to buy too much stuff as I knew the fridge was pretty full of vegetables so I opted for some tomatoes and  two peppers. The peppers I would get the husband to BBQ.

In wanting to be speedy I grabbed what I need in my hand and didn’t go for a basket. The veggies felt cool against my thin t-shirt but I didn’t think much about it, that was, until I put the veggies down to pay for them. A tomato had exploded on my nice white t-shirt. The same t-shirt that I figured was on the verge of death but wanted to try and save as much as possible. It was a bad scene.

The veggies came to $5.26.

There was no way I could save the T-shirt. It was hot out and I had no soap. I also had a 20 minute car ride home in a non air-conditioned car. There was no hope. I feared the worse.

I came home to my sauna like apartment and stripped off my clothes, replacing them with as little as possible while still remaining presentable. I remembered that we had a little bit of the martini mix from Sunday left over and figured I might as well finish it off. Vodka on a Tuesday. Don’t judge. I went to the freezer to get some ice and I noticed the door was slightly open. There was a pool of water forming underneath the door. The freezer was warm. The ice had melted. The meat was partially thawed. It took all my strength to calmly backed away.

It seemed as though my dear husband had gone into the freezer that morning to get some toast and did not notice that he had not shut the door properly. This simple absent minded act now destroyed all that I had been longing for; the cooling sensation of an iced martini. I was instantly filled with negative emotions, though knowing full well that this act was not done intentionally, I could not help it. Who does this on a bloody hot day! The day of all days! There was nothing I could do other then screaming into a towel the profanities of the world.

This unfortunately series of events made me forgot all about my nicely stained white t-shirt.

I carried on and began to prepare dinner. Everything on the BBQ. So simple yet so satisfying.

Finally the destroyer of my ice dreams came home and I immediately pointed to the freezer like pointing to a puddle of pee that a little puppy had left behind. And like a puppy who left behind a puddle of pee, I knew I couldn’t be mad for two long when I saw that oh so cute look on his face.

The heat of the apartment made me want to throw up. Outside there was a nice breeze but inside it was the stench of roasting souls.

The husband asked what I had picked up at the store. I told him the story about needing the lettuce and the credit card and the exploding tomato. He looked at me with a funny glare and proceeded to remind me that we had just bought lettuce on Saturday. Blasted! He was right. How could I have forgotten? This whole stained white t-shirt could have been avoided if only I had a better memory. I was embarrassed.

We ate dinner and it was amazing. The highlight of my day.

I knew that if I had any hopes of surviving the evening I had to get outside as quick as possible, but the more I cleaned up, the hotter I got, and the more I just wanted to leave everything as it was to escape to the cool blue yonder. I did the least amount of work possible. I loaded the dishwasher, cleared the table and bolted. Everything else about the apartment was exactly the way I had left it Sunday night after the party. Bowls of stale chips and unwashed martini glasses piled upon each other in the corner. It was just too hot to do anything about it now.

I grabbed Eleanor Rigbyand the one Popsicle that had not completely melted and headed to the deck. Oh outside, how much I love thee.

I never really gave Eleanor a chance. I’d read a few pages here and there, but never enough to become completely engrossed in the story. This is no way to read a book. You forget what you read last week before you are done reading this week. It was time I give her the attention she deserved. Plus it was too hot to go back inside and there was nothing else to do outside.

I finished the whole book last night. I couldn’t stop reading it. I loved it. Though I felt the ending was maybe rushed a bit but maybe that’s because I just wanted it to keep going. I wanted to know more about Liz now that she wasn’t lonely.

The clock hit 10pm.

I was nicely cooled at this point. My repitle like body had returned to a reasonable temperature and I was feeling good. I decided to get up, water the plants, put away the clothes on the bed and send myself off to dream land. My head thought this was a good idea, my body did not.

The second my body got up and started moving around it over heated. All the work I had done to cool it down was lost. I was in disbelief. I was suffocating in my own skin wanting to shed layers in hopes of finding a cool retreat.

Instead I went to the bedroom and found the stained white t-shirt under the husbands work clothes. I had forgotten about it. The stain had set. Dammit, Danielle. This shirt and I had been through so much. Squished chocolate, spilled wine, pasta sauce drippings, the works. And now, to be destroyed by the tiniest of tomato explosions. What had I done?

I ran to the bathroom and drowned it in soap and water. I scrubbed it like a poor Italian woman washing her clothes in the nearby stream thinking that I still had time to revive it. But my faith in the magic soap was fading away. Now it just looked orange. I was defeated. I threw it in the laundry basket trying to deny what had just happened.

Maybe the washing machine would be stronger then I!

Maybe it would work and I would have one more chance with my favorite shirt!

Maybe all hope was NOT lost!

And if not?

Another one bites the dust.

I lay on the bed and kicked off all the sheets. The fan was in the living room cooling off the husband. I was about to kill myself with heat exhaustion.  All I wanted was some lettuce with dinner, an iced martini, a clean apartment, and cooling evening. And all of it was lost.

I hate the heat.