I kind of feel all out of sorts this morning, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe I feel on edge because one of my co-workers is back today after a week long vacation and I have this feeling she is going to over react to about 100 things and then run around like a nut for most of the day making it look like she is the business person here. She likes to do that a lot. I guess I just feel anxious. I sent her an email basically putting my foot down on this fabric issue I have been dealing with for the past few months that is actually her responsibility. I’m a little frustrated with the way she has been dealing with it and then dumping it on me. I finally decided to say something to her when it came up again last week while she was gone. Guess I am a little anxious for a response.

Last nights dinner went well. I did spend 5 hours madly preparing everything before Chads parents came over but it was so worth it. It was the most prepared I have ever been for a dinner. I baked lemon squares & raspberry coconut square, Peccorino cheese crackers, made roasted garlic mashed potatoes with mozza cheese in the middle, and a mushroom dish all before they came over. I think I finally mastered making the perfect amount of food for dinner with the right amount of leftovers. The only glitch, of course, is finding out what your guests do and do not like to eat, but other then that it was one of the best dinners we have ever had. I’m slowly starting to learn.

Yesterday was exhausting and tonight I am going to bed at 10pm and snuggle and fall asleep asap. I am sooo looking forward to it.

Humm…looks like everyone is late this morning. I’ll blog more later.

Coughing has been the theme of today. While it makes my chest feel like it’s caving in, I know it is the light at the end of the tunnel.

Tonight, we are apparently heading out to the Starlight Casino with Mr. Perizzolo to watch the Lions on TV. Mikey & Shazy are joining us as well and I will have the privilege of annoying them all with my loud manly cough. I don’t know how dressed up I am suppose to get, but considering we will just be hanging out in the bar, I should be fine. Does alcohol kill mucus?

I have a lot to clean and cook this weekend and I’m feeling a little unprepared considering I have no idea what I am cooking and was hoping to prep and buy most of the stuff tomorrow. Crap. Tomorrow is going to be a gong show.

2 weeks from today we will be leaving for Whistler. Can not wait for some relaxation time with the Mister.

I bought a bunch of new clothes from work today. The start of my fall collection of purchases. I want to post them somewhere on my blog, like start a little fashion section where I just show what I buy and how I wear it. I know Alicia uses Chictopia and stuff but I don’t think I want to get that fancy. I’m not as good at coming up with outfits as she is. I have to see if Chad or someone can create a little interactive fashion section for me. Anyone know how to screw around with wordpress? I have an idea I just don’t know how to go about and do it.

Ugh, ok, I need to go take pills or something. This coughing is giving me a headache.

*cough*hack*cough*

I am going to spare you the details of my life right now. There is nothing positive worth sharing. I just really hope that at least half of my life get back to normal in time for the weekend so I’m not a disaster as I attempt to make Chads parents dinner for the first time.

There is a lot of stuff going on in my life right now that I don’t blog about. A lot of bad stuff. Bad stuff in that, its negative. Nothing between Chad & I, but a lot with family and people we know. A lot of stuff that is personal and stressful and worrisome. Stuff I obviously do not feel the athority to blog about. Stuff that maybe only 3 people know about.

If I seem a little weird, or on edge, its because I have a lot on my plate. A lot of stuff that is going on all around me that I have no control over. It just really feels like everything that could possibly go wrong with anybody and everybody I know, does go wrong. My mind is off thinking about too many things half the time.

I still try and find the positive out of every day and I’m not about to go dig out a hole and bury myself in it, but sometimes I stop to think about it all, or I tell the stories to Claudia during our morning coffee meeting and I think to myself, ‘Holy Crap, how much more can go wrong?’ I know it feels like every other post is about something bad that has happened, or something thats gone wrong, but its because things KEEP happening that are negative and unfathemable. Maybe if I listed them all out you would understand.

I just want you to know that this is not normally me. These last 8 months have been the exception.

And no, its ok. I don’t have to talk about.

I don’t even know why I wrote this post.

Tailgate Party

The Family finally arrives.

Pool Time

Another morning at the Lake.

My giant swollen bug bite.

Lunch Time

Time for a walk.

Hanging out in the Back Yard.

Chad & I & our 37 Beagles.

Chad, this is where I get my Pirate Eye from.

Ryan & Elises surprise Engagement Party!

I think Dad is hinting at something.

Another morning.

This is how the Rossis do the Amazing Race.

Time to go home.

Manning 2009

I wake up and I feel a little bit better. I have enough energy to poke Chad a few times. I take my medicine and grab the pile of clothes that are closest to me. I throw them on, wash my face, put my hair in a bun and take off. Then I get to work and all the sickness I thought I had gotten rid of hits me again. I sit here with my head like a snot balloon and my chest like a mucus cavity and stare out the window. WHAT THE HELL??? I’ve never been hit this fast and this hard with a cold or flew or sickness before. I’m pretty sure I have a fever but I can’t actually tell because the thermometer my Nonna gave me is from 1956 and there is no mercury in it. Yea, I’m pretty sure that’s not going to work. I just want to go back to bed. I’m so frustrated with myself because I have already missed enough work with all the surgery and crap I’ve had this year and now to miss more because I am sick again? I am just so frustrated and stressed out which is not what one needs when they are trying to get healthy again.

FML this year.

I just got back from yet another appointment at the Cancer Clinic. I always feel weird when I go there, almost like I am unworthy. I sit in the waiting room with my long brown hair, looking at people with hats and toques covering their bald heads, and I feel like an imposter. I know not all Cancers cause you to lose your hair or make you look sick, but I look fine and I really didn’t have to go through all that much to get to this point. I feel unworthy of the title ‘Cancer Surviver’. It’s something that I struggle with all the time because I feel like I really didn’t have to go through all that much.

But anyways.

The results are in and I will be going back in September for Radioactive Iodine Therapy. I’m not too worried about it because I kind of figured I would have to go anyways, and really its just kind of like one last treatment to cap everything off and make sure I’m 100% ok. The Dr. said I could literally run off into the woods and never see a doctor again and probably be fine with no recurrence of Cancer, but this is just something that would put everyones concerns to rest.

It’s a week long process that will involve tests and 3 full days in complete isolation in a hospital room. I am not even allowed to wear clothes or PJs, I have to wear a hospital gown that they can chuck once I’m done because it will be full of my radioactive sweat. That part is kind of scary when you think about it. I don’t know if I am allowed visitors, considering I am in complete isolation, so Chad will get a second vacation from me in September. I don’t know if I will have a TV or if I am allowed a laptop. I really hope I am allowed some sort of enertainment in there. After the 3 days in hospital I will be allowed to go home but I basically have to stay away from people for a few days following, kind of like I have a cold and don’t want to get anyone sick. I’m also not allowed to go to airports or have babies for the next 6 months.

So it looks like my September is going to be pretty full. I just have to wait for all the information to arrive in the mail and then I can start to plan around this last treatment. The bonus to it is that I don’t have to go off my medication so I won’t feel like shit for 2 weeks before. Chad was pretty happy about that because he would be the one having to deal with me feeling like crap for two weeks. So it looks like he is safe for now!

And so, the adventure continues.