I panicked last night when I was looking at pictures of the front of the house and realized that when we change out all the windows and trim them out in white it is going to clash / conflict with the decorative trim already on the house. This is the problem with renovating a house. You start to change out one thing and then it leads to something else and before you know it you ‘HAVE’ to change out everything.
I guess that’s how its going to be from now on. The struggle of what to do next. We have a little bit of money so do we fix up the bathroom or do we go on vacation? Do we landscape the backyard or do we throw a big party? Naturally I want every now, but that mentality just leads to stress. The stress of figuring out how you can possibly do everything you want to do with limited funds.
It also leads into the stress of, do we keep working on the house or do we have a family? We are running out of ‘excuses’. It made sense to wait until we had a house before we started our family. There was no room in the apartment and that would have been a disaster. Plus there was the year of Cancer and everything else that life threw at us. But now we have a house, so do we make the excuse that we need to renovate EVERYTHING before we jump into the life changing experience of children?
In my head everything is magical and we live in a beautiful house with a large family and a bunch of dogs, but the thought of actually taking a step in that direction scares the crap out of me. I never talk about kids. I never bring up the subject. I shy away from any conversation about it, not because I don’t want a family, but because it scares me.
There, I admit it, I am totally freaked out at the thought of having kids even though I have always wanted them. I mean, what if my kids grow up to be assholes?
I have said this many times before, bring over a basket full of puppies and I will go nuts. Bring over a basket full of babies and, meh, their just babies. It’s not because I don’t love kids and it’s not because I don’t want a family, it’s because I don’t know how to emotionally let my guard down and become a baby crazy lady. I know this sounds crazy but its because I AM CRAZY! I am scared and so I just shut myself off.
Chad and I have talked about this many times and even though we love the life we lead we know we will regret not having children no matter how scary it all seems right now. And I get that I’m not the only one, I’m sure many people get totally freaked out, but everything in life is going to change and I don’t think I can mentally prepare myself for that. I guess we just have to bite the bullet and take the plunge. As Papa Rossi says, I gotta build a bridge and get over it!
I totally get the “meh” feeling about babies but honestly? You will never be “meh” about your own baby. I promise. Babies are scary and noisy and dirty and your feelings are TOTALLY VALID. But babies are also amazing. One hundred percent, knock you off your feet, blow your mind amazing.
“do we make the excuse that we need to renovate EVERYTHING before we jump into the life changing experience of children?”
No, you have kids and then use them a cheap labour to help complete the renos.
“I mean, what if my kids grow up to be assholes?”
They will have Chad’s genes, therefore they will be genetically predisposed to this.
Also – you will never NEVER feel ready to have kids. Nobody is. But it works.
Personally I’d get all the renos done & out of the way, then have a big party to show off the new looks & later go on a big vacation one last time as a couple before kids get in the way initially (then save for those eventual family vacations). All these things, if planned well, could be done within a year!
This post had me laughing. What if my kids grow up to be assholes? haha….The timing will never be right, the house will never quite work, there will never be enough money…it goes on and on but the feelings and emotions that come wiht having kids of your own is priceless. You shoud have seen me when I found out i was pregnant with Leah, i litteraly freaked out and said what the hell do I do now….we were in the middle of major renos etc, but it all worked out, things weren’t perfect but we are all ok! Once you see that baby for the first time, life gets put into perspective very quickly. love is all that matters.
A friend once told me “Dario, you’re a catholic Italian. You’re nothing but a garlic eating baby factory.” Babies will come, do what we’ve been taught since the day we were born and look to the birds for guidance. They always build the best first.
Nest not best.
I totally understand what you’re saying. I think when it comes down to it, you just can’t ever be totally prepared for having kids. I knew years ago I wanted kids ‘someday’ but it seemed so far off and I felt the same as you – totally overwhelmed by the thought of how my life would change. But then you do it and it just falls into place. It’s definitely not always easy, but even for all the difficult days, it’s so rewarding that it’s totally worth it.
My only suggestion would be to wait till you’re a little bit settled in the house, at least insofar as you’ve unpacked all your stuff and have things somewhat how you want them. If you do end up dealing with the morning sickness and whatnot, you won’t want to/be able to do some of the stuff you’re used to doing!
But ultimately if you think about it too much, no time will ever be a good time. Your lives WILL change in a huge way, but in awesome ways. Andrew did take away soooo much of our freedom (and omg, adding twins to the mix is going to add total chaos!) BUT I wouldn’t have it any other way! You’ll be amazing parents, and seriously when you look at a little mini Danielle-Chad, you will be so smitten and wonder how you ever managed without that baby!!