In a perfect world my career would end when baby number one is born.
It is no surprise that I want to be a stay at home mom. It’s been my life’s goal since as long as I can remember. I am not a career woman. I do not live to work, I work to live. I have no desire to start my own company (other than maybe a very small one where I sell crafts out of my home). I have no desire for power and fame and money. I just want to have babies and puppies and grow veggies and cook dinners and make stuffed animals out of felt.
I knew, however, that there would be a period of time between graduating High School and having a baby that I would need to fill with something. I couldn’t just hang out and live at home waiting for Mr. Right to come along so we could get married and I could stand pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen. This is where, somehow, fashion entered the building.
I have always been crafty. I have always enjoyed making things with my hands. I love sewing and fabrics and trims and everything that surrounds it. So, when it was time to pick a career I had two options. I could go away to school to become a farmer (I am not kidding you I seriously contemplated this options) or I could apply to go to fashion school and work with the things that I loved; fabric and trims. It wasn’t that I was particularly fashionable, or that I even cared what the latest trends where, but it was the only way to turn my love of fabric and trim into an actual viable job.
While I have been very lucky in my career to be working for the company that I do, and very lucky that I enjoy what I do, it is not something I see myself doing forever. It really was something I set out to do to fill the time. The only problem is, in todays reality, will my dream of being a stay at home mom even come true?
It’s hard to even think about it knowing we are one day away from signing our lives away to a giant mortgage, with dreams of completely renovation the entire house. All of this costs large amounts of money which we can not pay for on one salary.
However, I don’t want to give up on my dream. I need to figure out how in the world I will be able to spend the majority of my time taking care of my family while not living in the poor house. Do I work part time somewhere? Do I find a job where I can work from home? Do I try to make a business out of my blog and sell advertising space? I am not opposed to leaving the world of fashion, but what else would I do?
So many questions, so little answers.
Obviously we have time to figure this out, I just want to be able to make my dreams come true. I need to find a solution.
My thoughts, sentiments and goals are *exactly* as yours are. I work to sustain my life and not the other way around. The “what do we do after kids” thing I something J and I have discussed quite a bit because not only do I not want to go back to work after kids, it makes no sense to do so.
First off, I don’t want someone else randomly raising our kids. When I taught preschool and worked in daycare, I can’t tell you how many kids started calling me “Mom” and it was pretty heart-breaking.
Secondly, childcare is really, really expensive. In Metro Vancouver, you’re looking at very close to $2,000/month to have two children in care, full-time. If you are making, say, $3,000/month at your job and have kids in daycare, you’re only pulling in $1,000/month *and* someone else is raising your kids. You could make more than $1,000/month doing almost anything from home.
That said, we decided that it makes the most sense for me to essentially return to my career roots and open a home daycare. I’ve personally known women that do it and it can be quite profitable. Next time we get together (which I hope is SOON!) I’ll go over the ins and outs of it with you.
I hear you…I love being a SAHM and I hope I am able to continue that way till all the kids are in school – there’s NO WAY we could afford to put 3 kids in daycare, anyway, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to be working while the kids are small. But it’s not always awesome living on one income, and we don’t even own our home. However, the fact that you are so crafty should definitely come in handy, and I’m going to say I think you could totally make a good part-time income making things and selling them, whether at craft fairs, through etsy, your blog, etc. You’ve got awesome skills that can go a long way with a home-based business, which could work really well with staying home with the kid(lets)! You will find a way to make it work, I’m sure of it!
PS Congrats on taking ownership of the house, that’s so exciting!!
While we are lucky enough to have the support of my parents, who, like my grandparents, would watch the kids for us while we work, I can’t ask my Mom to give up her life so she can watch the kids 5 days a week! I know that we will be able to figure out a balance of child care, staying at home, and working, I just worry about it sometimes. In an ideal world I would stay at home so my Mom doesn’t have to, but I would still be able to bring in some money for our family.
I think if you have a career that you truly love before you have kids, then it’s great to keep that going. I didn’t, so the time to create one was not when my son was born. Sometimes I wish I had a nice career; I’ve sure earned it. I work part-time now and stay home with my kid most of the time. It’s a pretty good balance and my life’s pretty sweet. http://www.eye-of-arms.blogspot.com/
When the time comes you’ll know what to do, or you’ll figure it out little by little. I’ve only been married 5 years but things have definitely turned out differently than I planned when we were newlyweds. Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans!!!
:-)
I have plans for my knitting machine, but it’ll take me the summer to find out if it’s a good plan. If it works out, you’re welcome to climb on board. It might as well be sewing,except it’s faster and you can charge more for the goods.