Narrator: “Project manager Danielle Ciavarro has just received word that one of the workers has injured himself while removing a section of wall. This isn’t the kind of news she wanted to hear having just found out her budget might not be enough to install the granite counter tops she’s just ordered.”

The scene shows Danielle walking up to the house talking to the camera

Danielle: “I don’t know, I don’t know what happened. All I know is Neil injured himself somehow. Chad called to tell me and said something about a hammer and stitches. These guys, you know, these guys really have no excuse for this, they have proper safety equipment.”

Narrator: “Danielle heads into the basement to check on Neil Pattersons’s injury and whether he’s bled on the new baseboards.”

The scene shows Danielle walking in on Neil tying a bandage around his leg

Danielle: “What happened?”
Chad: “He uh, cut himself with the hammer.”
Danielle: “Oh really.”
Chad: “Yeah, I guess he swung to hard or something and missed. He really should be more careful.”
Neil: “You’re an asshole.”
Danielle: “Neil, do you need to go the hospital?”
Neil: “Nah, I’ll be ok”
Chad: “If he gets tetanus, it’ll be his own fault”
Danielle: “CHAD!”
Chad: “What? It’s true!”

Narrator: “Danielle checks around the basement to see what might have any blood on it”

Danielle: “What’s this!? You bled on the damn floor boards! Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of hardwood? It’s not like we’re putting carpet down here guys! Now I have to go find a stain to match dried blood because of you!”

The scene shows random worker Mike Roth in the background

Mike: “It was both their faults you know, they wanted to see if they could drive nails if Chad threw them in the air and Neil hit them out of the air” shakes his head “Not really my place to say stop them, you know, I’m just the random guy in the background who provides one line of commentary per episode”

Narrator: “Danielle calls he primary contractor, Ryan Tyrrell, to let him know about the blood stains on the hardwood.”

The scene shows Ryan in his truck, tweaking his coif in the rear-view mirror.

Ryan: “So I just got a call from Danielle about an injury that Neil got. Well he’s working with Chad, so it doesn’t surprise me. I’m surprised it took this long.”

Narrator: “Ryan calls the other building consultant, Dario Perizzolo, to tell him to bring the first aid kit and meet him at the house.”

Ryan: “Hey, yeah, we need the kit on site. … Neil gouged himself or something… No they don’t have one on site… Why not? It’s Chad and Neil. … We should just tell Danielle’s Mom, she’ll yell at them for us. Yeah, ok, see you there in a bit.”

Narrator: “Meanwhile, back at the house, Chad has decided to take an unscheduled break and grabs a beer out of the cooler.”

Chad: “Shiiiiiit, we’ve got all weekend to rip this stuff down. So what if I’m taking a break? Besides, Neil is over there working through the pain. Workin’ like a MAN, hey Neil? Yeah, that’s right. I’ll supervise.”

Narrator: “Minutes later, Dario arrives with the first aid kit, and finds Chad sitting with a beer and Neil ripping our drywall with a bloody bandage around his calf.”

Dario: “What the BLEEP? BLEEP BLEEP on video! DO you know how BLEEP hard OH&S will BLEEP come down on us? BLEEP BLEEP blood and beer on a worksite? BLEEP BLEEP back to work BLEEP BLEEP gimme a BLEEP beer.” Turns to the camera “They just needed a bit of motivation.”

Narrator: “Today’s injury and possible budget overruns haven’t left project manager Danielle feeling that great. She knows the work is still on track to finish at the right time, but she’ll now have to deal with colours to match a bloody floor and spilled beer.”

Next week on RENO(vation) 911: Danielle deals with the aftermath of Chad tripping over a chair and her Mom questioning her colour choices.

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Producer Pat Zaphs interpretations of this weeks reno events as per our TLC reality show RENO(vation) 911. The events in this show may be more dramatic than in real life. Viewer discretion is advised.