Chad commented the other day that my blog is no longer a place where I come to rant and spew about how much I want to stab people in the throats, but is rather a place of documenting the events and things that happen in my life.
Once our apartment was sold and I was released for the clutches of the most negative living arrangements known to man (99.9% because of the people in our build and the drama they create) I made a conscious effort to let go of all negativity.
It used to be that the littlest thing would set me off and I would hold a grudge against a person for the longest time with out that person even knowing that I wanted to punch them in the face. Everything made me angry. I was a rageaholic. I would rant on and on about the people I didn’t like and why they drove me nuts. Then one day I realized how much time and effort I was wasting on being negative.
It is so easy to get caught up in negativity. You feed off of it from others. I can see it the odd time we watch the news while eating dinner. 5 minutes doesn’t go by with out someone yelling at the TV that the guy on the news is an idiot. Or when the phone rings and the latest gossip is chatted about and we can’t believe so and so bought such and such. So much of it comes from gossip. Can you believe how extravagant their wedding was!? – NEGATIVE. Can you believe so and so is renovating their whole house!? – NEGATIVE. What happened to being happy for people instead of being so jealous of them?
Jealousy. So much negativity comes from jealousy, whether we realize it or not, whether we will admit it or not.
I tend to be a very reactionary person. I can feel totally confident in something until the people around me start to question my decision and then I start to freak out that I’ve done the wrong thing. This also happens when it comes to my opinions of people. I tend to allow the people around me to influence the way I feel about someone instead of allowing my interactions with that person to influence the way I feel about them. As a result I have disliked people for the longest time all because of someone elses opinion. What a total waste of time.
I am done with being negative. Sure there are time when life is not going according to plan and all you want to do is explode. I felt like that all last week because of all the stuff I was dealing with at work. But what I realized is, I don’t need to be so angry all the time. I don’t need to be so negative towards other people, because in the end that negativity DOES mostly come from jealousy, and why should I be jealous? I have a pretty amazing life even if it has its struggles.
It takes so much energy to be negative and it’s so not worth it.