Even though we didn’t go away this weekend, it feels we just got home from a long vacation and tomorrow is the first day back at work.

I hate that feeling.

This weekend wasn’t very exciting. Actually, this entire summer hasn’t been very exciting, but it’s ok, because I can’t expect every moment in life to be thrilling and blog worthy. Italy will be that for me, so I’m fine watching the season pass me by. I will not think back at it as a wasted summer, but rather a summer were lots of things happened, but nothing that was mind blowing. Small things, content moments, living for now.

I’ve kind of been in a weird state this summer. At work we are always working a head, and we are pretty much finished Fall 2010 and are half way though Holiday 2010. Even though its the same thing ever year, it still feels weird having a warehouse full of clothing you can’t wear yet because it is either too hot or too cold. It’s like we are always looking forward, so excited for what is to come, instead of focusing on what is right now. I will never get use to a room full of chunky sweaters when is 30 degrees outside.

When I stopped to think about this constant excitement for whats to come and not for what is, I realized, that this time around, I wasn’t caught up in it all. While everyone is planning their fall wardrobe and what new boots they are going to buy this coming season, I feel as though I want no part in it.

This is not just fashion related. I haven’t been looking ahead all summer long. Aside from Italy, which is obviously a planned moment in time that is coming and will need thought and preparation, I have not thought about what the next few days, weeks, months hold for me. I haven’t planned any summer dinners, no BBQs, no beach days. We half attempted a camping trip this weekend, but that fell apart. I haven’t felt the need to put the effort in this time around. Dates for 2 yes, dates for 20, not so much.

Maybe it’s my subconcious not wanting to look foward. Post Italy big changes are planned. Changes that have been talked about for years, but they were always years away. Now they are moments away. Maybe I am scared to face them. Not scared in the sense that they are bad things, but scared in the sense that, for the most part, change and I aren’t really friends. Sometimes I love it, but for the most part, not so much. Chad has been trying to convince me to get a new cell phone, but I won’t let go of my Razor. I don’t want it to change. I never realized how silly I was in regards to change until this cell phone conversation came up.

Change is exciting, and once I’m over the hump of excepting the change, I love the excitement. But, it is a big hump to get over.

I guess with all the pressure Italy brings, there is no need for me to wish for anything else this summer. While everyone posts pictures of their beach trips, and parties outside, I don’t really feel like I’m missing out. For some reason, this time, I don ‘t really care.

My whole family is at Manning Park this week, and Chad and I aren’t there. Chad is itching to find a way to join them, and me, well, it is what it is. I’m not too concerned about it.

Part of me feels weird that I don’t care that the summer is passing me by, and the other part of me just doesn’t care.

I’m happy in my moment.

Chad is watching Mythbusters.
Elise and Ryan have gone home.
I really want to eat some cheese.
The plants are watered but the apartment is a mess.
Today was a great day.
So many things always going on.
T minus 7 days.
I think it’s time for bed.

Where does the time go?

Elise’s Stagette is tomorrow. Chilliwack River Rafting in the AM and then Roosters in the PM. Neither of them I have ever participated in before. Have I already told you that? I have no idea what to expect, and oddly enough, the thing I am worried about the most is if my hair is going to get ruined while river rafting and how I will re-due it for the evening. Silly, yet important to plan out.

I get so overwhelmed when there is a weekend with a million things going on. I focus so much on the big picture and I just start to get stressed about it all. This weekend feels like that right now even though there is nothing to stress about and everything will work out.

I need to relax.

I don’t have any time anymore. I just keep repeating the same things over and over again. I am possibly loosing my mind.

It has now been brought to my attention that I will probably be working over time until it’s time to fly to LA.

Thank God I love Fabrics.

I didn’t get anything done tonight.

I blame the yute.

I can’t even think straight really.

I should probably just go to bed.

Hopefully tonight I won’t have Eenie Meenie Miney Mo Lover stuck in my head.

Son of a Bitch, Bieber.

There are too many photo posts on my blog. They take too long to load.

Today feels like a Friday. I kind of wish it was.

At least I don’t have to make dinner tonight.

There was energy in this office but I think it got Claudia annoyed because shes swamped with work.

I’ve been doing the same thing all day today, and now I’m bored.

Chads Internet died so I can’t even chat with him. Totally lame.

Elise’s bridal shower is this weekend, so is Chad and his sisters Family Birthday Parties. Then we have to get our butts in gear to organize camping. WoopWoop.

I’m just tired and want to go home today.

My shoulder has been hurting since lunch time. I didn’t do anything to it, it’s just like a muscle ache. I blame…the sudden change in weather.

I can’t tell that it’s windy outside, because there are no trees to look at, but every now and then, a bird tries to fly across my window, and can’t. Clearly, it is windy.

The only good thing to this, is that the wind has blown away all of the storm clouds.

I just hope it doesn’t blow down to Seattle.

Mother of God my shoulder hurts. I need a heat patch.

Someone get me a warm bath STAT.