The minute I walk into this building I feel stressed. I can’t believe the work load still hasn’t let up. I know I keep saying it but I just feel so overwhelmed. I keep working late. I keep trying to get ahead of myself but it’s not working. I don’t know what else I can do. I guess it also doesn’t help that the boss keep dropping off last minute projects on my desk. There is too much responsibility on my shoulders.

I stayed until almost 6:30 Friday afternoon, the Friday before the long weekend, and she asked me what I was doing here so late, as she placed another last minute project on my desk. HA, what do you think I’m doing here so late!?

The office moves in 2 weeks. I wonder if I didn’t bother to pack up our design room, if anyone else would. Probably not, then I would be in a mad rush to do it at the last minute. Baaa.

I have a Cancer Clinic appointment this afternoon. Just an annual check up but I am not looking forward to it. It weighs on my shoulders, along with the stress from work. I just need to get through this day.

I know I sound negative, and it’s because I am. Lets call a spade a spade. I keep working hard, at home and at work, looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, that glimmer of hope that says everything you’ve have worked so hard to achieve will be yours shortly, but its not there.

Chad works so hard on our building, working with the most frustrating people on earth to try and get things done, to try and make our buidling better and all we get is frustration. Our deck has finally been replaced, something that has been in the works for years, and even though it was voted to get done all we get is complaints that its too noisy out there. The saws are on too early in the morning. Why is work happening on the weekend. Holy shit people, do you just want to live in a shit hole or do you want to be proud of where you live? Frustrations.

I just need to see the light at the end of the tunnel, at home, at work, in life. Whats the point of working so hard if all you get is frustrations?

I had to take a sick day today. Well, I went in for 2 hours to do the important stuff then went to the clinic, then came home.

I’m not one to run to the doctors every time something is wrong, but everyone kept telling me to go, especially since I was getting worse.

I may have strep throat. I may just have a virus. I find out in 2 days.

The runny nose and cough started today, so maybe it is just a virus. I guess I’ll find out.

Kinda figures I would get sick right in the middle of crunch time. Oh well. I can’t let it get me down.

I need fluids. STAT!

Well, we got back from Merritt last night. It was a good long weekend, relaxing and fun. And surprisingly enough, it didn’t even rain. Shocking I know.

I’ve come back with a cold. My throat is killing me hard core, but at least I can still function, though I can feel my body getting more sick as each day passes. Even though the weekend was relaxing I feel exhausted.

Work has been kicking my butt for the past 3 weeks. Our server was down for a week and so all the work I had to do couldn’t be done. This put me so behind that I still haven’t caught up. I have basically been stressed for 3 weeks and I think it’s definitely contributing to this cold I have caught. My responsibilities are starting to become a burden and I can not kick this feeling of being overwhelmed. I just really hope this is my week to finally get everything done.

I have so much work to do, I don’t even know where to start.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

We are in funk central. And not good funk, bad funk.

The weather is horrible.

We have had no news on the apartment. And no, no news is not good news.

We are both so stressed over this apartment that we can’t even talk about it because we just snap at each other.

Our frustrations are turning us into crazy monsters.

Nothing is going our way. NOTHING. I don’t even want to get into the stories surrounding how many things are not going our way.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and no part of me is excited for it. Not even for my cousins wedding in the afternoon. Not even for the magical dinner with friends that is planned. Not even for the elusive birthday gift that no one knows when it is actually arriving.

I know it sounds like I am being dramatic, but seriously.

What do you do when it feels like there is nothing positive to hold on to?

sdjfhasdfha aksdjfhaleubflwd asdkjfhas.

Le sigh.

I’m not feeling good, in any sense of the word.

Head
Stomach
Heart
Soul