F.U.B.A.R.2.0.1.1.

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Smelly Danielly

Here are some of the highlights of the trip…

Dario had a series of hats that he brought camping. This was probably the most useful one. I didn’t think they actually made umbrella hats.

I was contacted by the good people at Palm Bay (well, technically their marketing team) asking me if I’d like to try out some new Palm Bay flavours. I was all over it, expecting to receive a couple of delightful beverages. Little did I know I would receive a giant ice bucket filled with Summer Time treats! What an excellent surprise!

It was so awesome that the Palm Bay came just in time for camping. I brought half up with me and am saving the second batch for our Canada Day Long Weekend Adventure of Awesomeness.

This little guy kept coming around eating all of our crumbs off the groud. He was very friendly and so beautiful! It’s not every day you see a bird this pretty in the forest!

He’s just adorable so I had to throw in a picture of him!

Stick ball commenced as soon as everything was set up. These guys were laughing too hard to actually play, but it was amusing to watch.

1) Pats nipple were on display all weekend. 2) Pats got a gut. 3) Pats t-shirts are too small for him.

Lady hung out with us all weekend sniffing stuff and eating chips.

Chad is 76% Dog.

These logs were a hatchets worse nightmare. We destroyed the hatchet by the end of the weekend.

Dario found a giant log and tried to play stick ball with it, turning stick ball into Log ball. It was way to hard so him and Mike tried to split the log by ramming it into a tree. This is what happened (notice the look on Mikes face). His chest was never the same after that.

The log got the best of Dario. That’s what you get for killing the ecosystem.

Dario dropped a turd.

Jeremy liked using Lady as a Machine Gun.

Flank Steaks are my best friend.

Dinner cheers!

(Ryan & Elise are not here because Ryan had to go back into town to join Elise at a work dinner, just so you know)

Chad thought it would be a good idea to do Olive Oil Shots. Yea. Like he needs more grease.

Of course I Italian Housewifed it.

Pat & Aimee brought cigars.

Dario found his own cigar.

They dubbed me Ernest Hemingway. Yes, we bought stainless steal wine glasses. Yes I wrote notes by the light of my lantern while smoking a cigar. Yes, I am amazing.

I don’t know what the hell happened here.

Another Hat!

This is how Jeremy fell asleep.

Dario decided to get Zen.

I didn’t get breakfast because the raccoons stole it. First time wildlife has ever stolen our food, which we typically leave out everywhere in a drunk fashion. OK NATURE, WE’VE LEARNED OUR LESSON!

This hat really came in handy on Saturday.

The boys discoverd that Palm Bay is the perfect mid morning drink.

Harry, where is Marv?

Bahahahahahaha.

It was pointed out that all the couple were wearing similar shoes which was kind of weird.

See, same shoes. What does that say about us?

Pat made his famous bacon burgers again, except this time they didn’t make us feel like we were going to die.

Pat Zaph Nipple Antennae

MIKE. Omg was he on fire this weekend.

Sleeping in the rain.

Darios beard pic.

We finally decided to put a tarp over the fire. We were prepared to sacrifice it if the fire wanted to melt it, we were just so sick of sitting in the rain.

The boys were handy.

Pat and Dario put together chicken on a spit. This was a total experiment that worked!

Swiss Chalets got nothing on us!

nom nom nom

Jeremy was the official chicken carver. We did 2 beer butt chickens on the BBQ and then Pat & Darios creation. It was the greatest chicken dinner of all time. If only my camera didn’t die after taking this photo. DAMN YOU CAMERA!

Another great year of FUBARing it!

Chad vs. The Tent

Posted on June 22, 2011 by Smelly Danielly

There is really no point in me telling you I am crazy because you already know that. I’ve got a lot of scheduled posts I need to do this week so I will throw in a camping post every now and then just to keep you on your toes. Plus breaking it up like that will be a lot easier to digest.

Two years ago, before our first ever camping trip, Chad went out and bought all our supplies. This was a very bad move because I don’t think Chad fully thought it through. I have erected many a tent in my time yet somehow Chad picked the tent with the most random set up I have ever seen.This has proven to be the source of many frustrations each time we go camping.

Normally when we go camping Chad and the boys leave Friday morning and Elise and I join up with them Friday after work, so I don’t get to see the epic fail that is Chad vs. the tent, I only get to hear about it. This year I was pumped to see the disaster unfold.

This year Chad had the benefit of having 3 guys help him out. Didn’t matter though, it still took them forever.

I still think that left to my own devices I could probably set up the tent, by myself, in less time. Honestly, it’s not that difficult to figure out, it’s just set up the opposite way that every other tent is set up and because of that, Chad can never figure it out.

Thankfully Work Place Dario showed up to get boys motivated.

WHERE IS YOUR SAFETY VEST!?

45 later they were finally done. Yea, you heard me. 4 guys 1 tent 45 minutes.

Pat, Aimee, and I just sat back and watched with amusement. Next we got to witness Chad try and blow up 2 air mattresses which barely fit into our little tent. Each year we try to make small improvements to our camping lives but we never quite make it to full on comfort. I think Chad is secretly hoping we have a kid soon so he is forced to buy a bigger tent.

Camping. It never fails to amuse.

Sometimes We Never Learn

Posted on May 31, 2011 by Smelly Danielly

Sunday of the long weekend was Ryans Birthday. Ryan hates celebrating his birthday. He hates the attention. How can someone so beautiful and stylish hate having people stare at them? It’s been a mystery to us all these years.

Since Ryan hates having Birthday parties we didn’t really expect to be doing anything. I kind of figured Elise had something romantical planned, but we kept our schedules open in case we were lucky enough to get ‘the call’. It also helped that we stalked Elise all day.

Unfortunetly Ryan worked on his birthday, which was also a Sunday. Talk about commitment. We got the text while playing with Barra that plans were in the works for the evening. Good thing we were already in Surrey.

Naturally we went to Dublins Crossing.

I’m not sure if I’ve even been to any other bars/pubs in Surrey, Dublins always seems to be the one to go to. Chad and I got there first. We ordered drinks and an appy. Luckily the bitch waitress was not working though we heard through the grape vine that she improved her demeanor the last time Ryan and Elise where there.

We shared the Hummus and Olive Tapenade while we waited. We’ve had some very sketchy run-ins with the food at Dublins so we were a bit weary. This however was very good.

We waited for everyone else to show up before we ordered dinner. I was planning on ordering a chicken sandwich which sounded really good but after the appetizer I was quite full and opted for a salad. BAD CHOICE. I don’t know how or why places screw up salads. They are so easy to make, you think places could put some amount of effort into it.

I barely ate half of the salad and had to stop. It tasted gross and I felt gross.

I don’t know if it was the appy, my drink, or the salad (probably) but my stomach was upset for the rest of the night. This is something that never happens to me. I actually had to run to the bathroom twice because I thought I was going to puke. Woo Hoo!

The birthday boy needed a coffee. An elegant coffee at that.

Elise got to have her freshly made donuts with ice cream and chocolate sauce. I may have stole a couple of them. This dish they definitely did right!

We had a great time besides the disappointing food. I guess it can happen anywhere, but I’ve never had a dish I couldn’t finish because it was too gross, so Dublins gets the gold medal for that. I know, I never paint a nice picture of the Irish Crossing in Surrey but you get what you give. We do always have fun despitethe bitchy waitresses, expensive beers and crappy food so I guess that’s one thing it’s got going for it.

What I did love about going on a Sunday though was that there was no live band! We could actually hear ourselves have a conversation and that was definitely nice!

None the less, any place with Ryan and Elise always turns into the best time ever.

The Pat Zaph Guilt Trip

Posted on March 8, 2011 by Smelly Danielly

Because Saturday was the day after Patz birthday and the day of Elisas birthday, I decided to throw together a little dinner party. It’s what I love to do, and I kind of figured it would be the last time everyone would be together in our little apartment before we move, so I wanted to make it special.

This is the only picture of Pat on Saturday evening. Not only did Pukey McJew make us miss the last skytrain but he ended up being so hung over that he sat on our couch for 30 minutes and then had to go home because he was still so pukey. WAY TO GO JEW BOY! Last time I ever throw you a Birthday Dinner!

I guess I can now use this a leverage the next time Pat comes into town and wants to go to the Cambie. “Really, you want to go there…again? Don’t you remember what happened the last time? You ruined your own Birthday dinner. Maybe it’s time you find another venue to be obsessed with”.

Jews aren’t the only people who can be sneaky!

Also, doesn’t he kind of look like Matt Good in this photo? Mostly because he looks so disheveled. ZING!

But anyways, everyone else seemed to enjoy themselves. I served Italian Cold Cuts and Cheese as an appetizer, along with some Sun Dried Tomatoes, Olives, and Balsamic Onions. Pat would have enjoyed indulging in those since he always complains that Red Deer doesn’t have any Italian Delis. Too bad he was PUKING!

Dinner was a success. It’s crazy to think that I spent 4 hours preparing everything before the guests arrived, and I still had more to do after they arrived. It was food overload, but that’s the way I roll.

Flank Steak marinated in Soy Sauce, Garlic, & Lemon Juice
Home Made “Perizzolo” Sausages & Bosa Sausages
Home Made Caesar Salad
Mixed Green Salad with Tomatoes, Cucumber, Red Onions, Avocado, and Candied Walnuts, tossed in a Honey Mustard Dressing
Oven Roasted Potatoes & Yams tossed in Seasoning Salt and Pepper
Green Beans tossed in Oil & Vinegar
Red and Orange Peppers Sauteed in Ponzu Sauce, Garlic, and Green Onions
Red and Yellow Onions Sauteed in Butter, Red Wine, and Herbes de Provence
Tuscan Bread

Insane I know, but so damn good. It was one of those dinners you wish you could experience every weekend.

We relaxed after dinner with a little Espresso and Grappa. Dario opted for the Sambuca but couldn’t get the bottle open. Muscles LOSE.

When Chad went looking for a ‘Mocha’ to make his Espresso, he only bought one that made 2 cups because he figured he’d be the only one drinking it. Saturday night 7 people wanted Espresso. GUESS how long that took him to do. Maybe it’s time to invest in a bigger mocha!?

Since Pat was Puke Face Sick Head, all the Birthday Cake went to Elisa!

While obsessing over Tumblr I got the idea to make a rainbow cake. I kind of stole Shazzi’s idea when she made her rainbow cupcakes, and did the same thing but in a larger scale.

I love how crazy bright the colours are!

Chocolate Icing and Sprinkles!

Nom nom nom CRAZY COLOURS!

The night ended off with the boys having a scotch break on the deck and the girls watching the last half of Loser. What a trip back to 2000 that was!

I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I wish we would have had more time with Pat and Aimee, but Moses punished Pat for all his Pork eating and bad Jewish ways. At least there were leftovers for me to enjoy on Sunday!

Friggin PAT.

I’m a Cop you Idiot!

Posted on March 7, 2011 by Smelly Danielly

Pat and the Cambie. They should just go and get married already.

Pats birthday was on Friday but for some reason I had it written down as March 14. Obviously I am not as good of a friend as I thought I was.

We decided to have dinner at the Cambie on Friday night as it is always too rushed when I do the traditional dinner and cambie on a work day. Rush home, get everything made, scarf it down, and then run to the Cambie only to get there too late to find a seat. NOT WORTH IT. Plus, I love eating out, so I was sold on the idea.

Beersies

Team PLAID was out in full force. By the end of the night I realized I was in full fledge Lesbian apparel.

It was $4 extra for the Lattice fries with Chipotle Mayo, but it was so worth it. The Chicken Caesar wrap was good too, it just fell apart easily.

Pat got to taste his Mushroom Swiss burger on the way down AND the way up! I’m sure Pender street appriciated that.

Jager Bombs. I was pumped for these.

Stop staring at me…

Convos amongst new friends

Convos amongst old friends

Dario has a new obsession with Slippery Nipples. Need I say more?

Thumps Up. Pump Up.

No Phones Allowed.

Elisas birthday was on Saturday so she got Birthday Shots too!

Aimee got three Porn Stars instead of the Slippery Nipple.

There is so much wrong with that sentence.

Down they go!

Dario is on fire.

Elisa created a special hand sign so whenever she wanted a shot she could sign to the waitress and she would bring her one.

Who the hell knows.

This guy walked into the cambie with his friend. His friend just happened to be a Midget. An Asian Midget in a leather jacket. Pat and Dario freaked out. Then Pat realized he knew the guy. Weirdest moment EVER.

This is his sign for STAY AWAKE.

Randoms joined our table. Pat may or may not have known them. He was super drunk and we couldn’t understand him. This girl may or may not be related to Snooki.

Long time readers of the blog may remember this face. RAUL! I haven’t seen him in almost 4 years. Back in Vancouver working away. What a random Cambie find!

This is what happens when two people make totally unrelated hand gestures and it gets captured on film.

Claudio like Asians, and blonds, and boys? Blond Asian Boys?

Dario and Claudio surveyed all the women in the Cambie to see what they preferred, accents or muscles. Accents won. Sorry Chad…

Lets pray we make it out of here alive.

Italian Row ready for some McDonalds!

I saved everyone by not documenting (with pictures) what happened after we left the Cambie.

Everyone was pretty keen on getting some late night Cheeseburgers so we headed down to one of the sketchiest McDonlads in the city. Dario and Claudio each got 5 cheeseburgers but Claudio also go a Large Fries, so technically he beat Dario. Pat waited outside because he was about ready to spew at any moment. We were a little pressed for time as the last skytrain was scheduled to leave in 15 minutes so we told everyone we had to walk and eat. Everett had to help Pat get up off the sidewalk because he could barely stand. We started to haul ass but then were called back because Pat was emptying the contents of his stomach on the side walk. Chad coached him by yelling in his face, which was a bit risky. Finally he stopped puking long enough for us to start to run/walking to the skytrain. On our way down the stairs Everett triped and bailed hurting himself and crushing his glasses. NOT GOOD. We run to pay for our tickets only to have the Skytrain Guy come up saying we just missed the last train. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Pat, Aimee, and Luca ended up taking a cab home. Dario, Elisa, Claudio, Chad and Iwaited half an hour for the bus to come and take us to Metrotown. We were so tired it was ridiculous. The only saving grace was that Dario kept repeating this line to everyone who walked by him on the bus, which had Chad and I in stitches, and Claudio and Elisa fell asleep on someones box.

True Story.