I don’t know how to get back into this blogging business. I guess I just have to do it, right?
So much has happened since Matteo came home from the hospital, it’s just too hard to go back and recap. It’s been a learning curve for Chad and I, obviously. I think it’s a learning curve for anyone who brings home a baby, but even more so for us, given all the complications we’ve had to face. I try not to stop and think about it too much because it stresses me out. The fact that for 137 days I had to leave my child in the care of other people, that I was unable to bring him home just hurts thinking about it. Panic attack hurt. I just can’t dwell on it.
Having him home on CPAP has been a challenge; an added stress on top of normal baby stress. On the one hand we are so thankful that this machine allows us to have him home, but on the other hand it is the biggest pain in the butt when its 2am and I have to sit and wait for him to fall asleep enough that putting the mask on him will not wake him up into a fit of rage. The only bonus to having CPAP at home is that we qualify for nursing hours, which means a nurse comes to our house to give us a break and take care of Matteo. Its the only reason I haven’t totally lost my mind due to lack of sleep!
Sometimes Matteo is so cute I want to explode and other times he is so frustrating I want to explode. Last week Matteo was sick with a sore throat and cough which was rather stressful for us given his whole lung issue. Thankfully his cold didn’t seem to affect his breathing but it did turn him into a cranky fussy fidget monster. It made Chad and I laugh when we ran into some friends and they exclaimed at how Matteo is such a happy baby (because he gets super happy and smiley when meeting people). On his good days he is so much fun, but on his bad days he is so fussy it is maddening!
Next week we have an appointment with Respirology where we will find out what the next step is for Matteo. It would be amazing if he has progressed enough to no longer need CPAP but it also scares me because no CPAP means no safety net. I guess it’s out of our hands either way, I just think hes gotten to the point where CPAP is more disruptive then it is helpful.
In non Matteo news we have spent the first part of Summer fixing up our front yard after last years drain tile debacle. I originally didn’t want to work on the front because I have major plans for the back, but Chad suggested starting small and as we all know, Chad is always right. I am super happy with the way it turned out. I will have to post pictures of it very soon. My life basically consists of pictures of Matteo and pictures of flowers. True story.
I have 5 minutes, so…
1) This week has not been a fun week at work. I’ve spent more time then I ever thought I would in a hot sweat factory inspecting wool coats. That’s the irony of the fashion industry; wool coats on the hottest days of the year and skimpy summer dresses when it’s snowing outside. It has not been a fun experience, and we aren’t even done yet, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.
2) Mama Ciavarro is coming over tonight to take a look at the garden and see what did well and what did not. I must admit that I have not been the best gardener this year and have not kept up with it as much as I should have, but I’ll blame baby Ziti for that, because that’s what you do, right? Blame your children when you can’t get stuff done? I was actually pleasantly surprised when I went out the other day and noticed that the plants I had thought were goners were actually coming back to life. Much like Jesus, my plants rise from the dead. Hallelujah!
3) I have several crafts on the go which I am obsessed with but because I am doing them all at the same time, none of them are close to being finished. Can I just take a bunch of days off and craft please?
4) I finally found a pesto recipe that I like. I know that sounds weird because pesto has like 5 ingredients, so how many different versions could there be, but I always found the pesto that I made/bought to be too basily. The ratio of ingredients always seemed off to me. Last night I tried out David Roccos recipe and BOOM, perfection. Except in his cook book it says 1 bunch of basil, not 4 cups, so that’s probably why I liked it, because I used about 1 cup of basil. Odd that his website and book say different things. But anyways, I learned I like less basil.
5) The back yard is finally starting to get cleaned up since the drain tile project of death is now complete. Side walk framing is happening tomorrow! Yay no more piles of dirt! Hopefully we can have that finished in the next few weeks, then the growing pile of trash in our carport can be removed and then we don’t look like we are a bunch of hobo home owners! Now all I need is a quote to get our small retaining wall replaced and this whole expensive adventure can be put behind us!
I figured I better blog something today because if not Dario is going to have a very boring day at work reading the same 5 websites over and over and over again. Clearly blogging has taken a back seat in my life. Its not that I’m really any more busy then normal, its just that I really don’t feel like blogging about anything. It’s taken me 7 years to realize, maybe its just better to live life instead of trying to document every little aspect of it. Or maybe I’m just super lazy and in no time I will be back to regular blogging.
Actually, to be honest, I think a lot of it has to do with my current situation. The Baby Ziti situation. There is something about being pregnant that makes me want to be very private. Is it that motherly instinct to protect my child? Maybe it. It is because I hate attention and I’ve basically got a neon sign pointing to my belly saying “BABY INSIDE”. Probably. Either way, I guess starting a family is pretty life changing and makes you re-evaluate certain things. That and I feel very focused on ‘preparations’ right now and not very focused on ‘adventure time’. Maybe next year, when I’m home on mat leave, I’ll blog up a storm with all the things I do to fill my day. In my unrealistic mat leave plan Elise and I will be going on a lot of fun baby dates.
Mat leave. I have 4 months left of work and then I will be off for a year. This is both exciting and crazy to think about. Exciting because I am looking forward to a change of pace. Not having to drive HWY 1 every morning. Not having to sit at a desk all day. Getting to take a year off to do something different all the while knowing I have a job waiting for me at the end of it. Crazy because I have no idea what its going to be like and I have a whole year of it. A year seems like a long time but it will go by in a flash I’m sure.
It’s a little daunting to think about right now though, because I have to spend the next 4 month doing my usual job as well as preparing for my replacement. This means creating a binder with step by step instruction on everything I do. I don’t think you can comprehend just how much I do and just how stressful it is going to be trying to record everything that is in my brain. Everything that I do with out even thinking about it. Everything I have learned in 6 1/2 years. I don’t even know where to start with it all.
I guess all I really need to do is put my head down and work. Just getter done so I’m not rushing at the last minute. Let the fun begin.
This weekend is going to be crazy busy. Its Perizzolo wedding weekend. Part of me is super excited but part of me is also overwhelmed at the thought of so much action going on. Mostly because I have been a sloth for 4 months and I’m paranoid about how I’m going to feel. I’m sure everything will be fine. I survived camping and I survived a weekend on Galiano (both of which I still have to edit photos of) so why wouldn’t I be able to survive a wedding and a pig roast?
Chad is getting on me about my lack of exercise and he is right. I am finally starting to feel better (other than the occasional gross day) and I should not spend every waking moment laying on the couch, as much as I want to. I need to start going for walks and doing some small things around the garden. I’ve let too many things slide because of my state and while I can’t be as physical as I used to be, I do have Chad to help me. In other words, I really need to get those boxwood hedges and yews moved in the back yard.
It has also been a total waste that the weather in Vancouver has been AMAZING and I have done NOTHING outside. I didn’t know it was humanly possible for me to be as lazy as I’ve been, but there it is.
Also, at dinner last night my Nonna was surprised to find out I can’t drink wine anymore and when I told her why her response was “but then half of Italy should be dead!”. Priceless.
TIME TO GET PUMPED FOR THE WEEKEND.
(As an aside, I hope this picture of Chad creeps you out.)
I keep forgetting to upgrade my flickr account to PRO so I only have access to the photos Chad takes with his phone. As you can see, there is a specific theme to these photos.
I am about to embark upon my birthday weekend. I have decided to make it a 4 days weekend so that I can…
I don’t really have any feelings regarding turning 28. It feels like a big number but it also doesn’t feel like a big number. I just hope this weekend is as good as I have made it out to be in my head. Either way, I am super pumped that the weather is going to be amazing, for once.
May is like my most favorite month ever. For reals.